Boundaries for dating teenagers
Your 18-year-old son is dating a 16-year-old female classmate – no big deal, right?
A two-year age difference isn’t particularly alarming, and dating is fairly standard at that age.
Your chatterbox son now answers your questions with a sullen "yes" or "no." Your charming daughter won't go to the store with you at all anymore. This emotional separation allows them to become well-adjusted adults. When kids have done something wrong, we hope they feel bad, we hope they feel guilty." 10. Your actions -- even more than your words -- are critical in helping teens adopt good moral and ethical standards, says Elkind.
It's natural -- and important -- for kids to break away from their parents at this age.
If you flatly say, you can't go out with those kids, it often can backfire -- it just increases the antagonism." 4. "If it's a two-parent family, it's important for parents to have their own discussion, so they can come to some kind of agreement, so parents are on the same page," says Bobrow. If it feels necessary, require them to call you during the evening, to check in. Tell them: "If the only option is getting into a car with a drunk driver, call me -- I don't care if it's 3 in the morning," says Bodrow. "Help them figure out how to handle a potentially unsafe situation, yet save face," she suggests. Come up with a solution that feels comfortable for that child." 8.
Whether you ban them from driving for a week or a month, whether you ground them for a week, cut back on their allowance or Internet use -- whatever -- set it in advance. Discuss 'checking in.' "Give teens age-appropriate autonomy, especially if they behave appropriately," says Kaslow. But that depends on the teen, how responsible they have been." 6. Whether it's drugs, driving, or premarital sex, your kids need to know the worst that could happen.
Amy Bobrow, Ph D, a clinical psychologist and professor in the Child Study Center at New York University School of Medicine in Manhattan. Giving teens a chance to establish their own identity, giving them more independence, is essential to helping them establish their own place in the world. "Doing themselves harm or doing something that could be permanent (like a tattoo), those things matter," says Kaslow. When kids see them, see how their friends act with their parents, they can get a better sense of those friends," Elkind tells Web MD.
He walked out of prison on May 3, 2004, at age 19, a free man.
But if these teens are having sex, and you live in a state where prosecutors aggressively enforce the law, it’s possible that your son could be charged with statutory rape.