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11-Apr-2020 11:42

SAN DIEGO—Insisting you’ll never be truly happy until you found the superior partner you’re more than entitled to, a little voice in the back of your mind reported Tuesday that you deserve much better than the person you’re dating.CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying it has already become a fixture in his daily routine, local 27-year-old Greg Weise installed a home pull-up bar to absentmindedly tap while passing through the hallway, sources confirmed Tuesday.It typically involves a great deal of drunken analysis, the focus of which is to compile a list of non-threatening answers to the question—“Why didn’t he want me?”—and I’ve had a lot of success with this approach for the past couple of years.If you're guilty of talking to your baby in a silly voice, you should blame your caveman ancestors, new research suggests.Researchers have found that 'baby talk' - speaking to your child in a high pitched voice while using simplistic language - could be a hang-up of early human evolution.

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FULLERTON, CA—Having grown up seeing few characters he could relate to on the big screen, local man Jake Champney, who once jumped a motorcycle onto a hijacked bullet train, told reporters Tuesday that he never thought he’d see the day when Hollywood would tell stories like his.

WASHINGTON—Deeply moved by her boldness under such circumstances, citizens from around the country were reportedly inspired Thursday by the bravery of a teenager who walked into a local Mc Donald’s wearing only a bikini.



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